I do have an old trolling motor of my brothers laying around, but I don't know if it works and it certainly isn't remote control. Hmmmm.
I could think of how to use the cage as a mast and make it a sail tomato. Then I'd really need a keel. Still, I don't think I'd get good winward performance out of a inner tube.
In any case, most boats that come by here are fishing the nearby downed trees. Hopefully I'll be around to hear them try to work out exactly what they are looking at.