My in-laws grew lots of acres of Asparagus for Stokley many years ago. Asparagus is SUPPOSED to be fat. We would get docked for any that was skinnier than a lead pencil.
Basically the fat stalks come up from the healthy roots. The skinny spears only come up as the roots peter out for the season. That tell you when to stop picking it for the year and let it grow out to replenish the roots.
People who think the skinny is proper most likely only picked roadside wild asparagus, where everyone picks, but no one cares or fertilizes it.
The Skinny gets tough and fibery shorter as it needs the fiber to hold itself up. The thick will be tender for a longer length.
Carol
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