My brother b|tches and moans about heat in his food, but his objections are, shall we say, "flexible". I will make some queso that even I think it pretty warm, and he will come in and chow down. I'm sure that, objectively, it lights him up. Subjectively, he
loves queso. And it is hard to justify complaining about someone else's food. You may be experiencing something similar.
Now, as for upping your own tolerance, I'd say, "More of the same, for starters." If you make poppers, keep some of the fresh peppers for munching. Get some really hot sauce and add heat to some of the later bites. Then add heat to the first bites. This actually a fairly complex subject. Check this thread:
http://thehotpepper.com/topic/28196-...eat-tolerance/