Bethy, your problem is that sterile soil. All plants need more in the way of "extra" than lime, mag & calcium. And the poor nutrition might be one of the big reasons you have bugs. If the tomato is not too big yet, replace the soil. There are threads over in the Growing in Containers section about what to use in your pots.
About the bugs - take your spray bottle and add 2 drops of dish liquid (I've always used Dawn). Tip the plant somewhat sideways so the soap does not run into the soil and wash well - be sure to get the underside of all the leaves too. Let the soapy spray sit for 2 or 3 minutes, then rinse with clear water. Repeat in a few days if required, but usually not.
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